Some people are food lovers, savoring meals, taking inordinate amounts of time to eat them while enjoying the company of close friends and loved ones. Others simply view meals as a means to an end, satiating hunger in order to get on with a more important task. Their mantra, in the words of Remi’s father, “food is fuel”. If you’re on the proverbial fence here are some points to help you figure out where you stand.
- Many miles are put on your odometer, driving out of your way to purchase locally sourced or naturally grown foods
- Pesticides and genetically engineered products are generally not part of your food vocabulary
- The following movies/programs are in your Netflix or Hulu instant-watch queues: El Bulli (cooking in progress), After Hours with Daniel Boulud, Man vs. Food, Food Inc., Made in Spain with Jose Andres, Kitchen Nightmares or Masterchef, Avec Eric, No Reservations, Kings of Pastry, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, Jacque and Julia at home, I like killing flies, and hopefully Marcels Quantum Kitchen. Or any other show obtained through nefarious means. (I just received an urgent message. My favorite food related movie Big Night is now on Netflix instant watch. If you have failed to view this masterpiece, do so now.)
- At 10:30 pm, after checking and rechecking your fridge and pantry, you find you have no food whatsoever to cook or eat right away, you decide to do without rather than settling for fast food
- After contemplating the thought of going to bed hungry, you slip on your flip-flops and drive 45 minutes to the closest 24-hour taco truck. Your stomach will win this battle
- You are the authority on where to get the good foie
- You are regularly harassed for being a “foodie” which apparently is synonymous with “food snob”
- You spend hours online researching new or unvisited restaurants to visit, even if you’re too broke to go out, quite possibly it’s for someone else
- A co-worker starts talking about “The woman who has that restaurant in California”. You immediately respond, ” You mean Alice Waters from Chez Panisse?” They look at you in amazement like you’re Carnac the Magnificent.
- You plan your trips around what restaurants you want to visit in any given city. (Daytona Beach is no longer a viable vacation destination)
- You visit Chicago, obviously eating at Hot Doug’s is top priority, despite the fact that someone tells you it’s too commercial. (You know who you are) You know what’s too commercial? Mad Men. It’s an entire show about commercials. You know what’s the best show on the T.V? Mad Men. You know…that show about commercials!
- People don’t get your food related jokes, except, you know, smart people
- You don’t really know how to follow a recipe from start to finish, because recipes are for the Devil
So where do you fall? Do you have a love affair with food, or is your relationship a little tepid? There’s no need to defend yourself for your stances on these matters, regardless of your status food-wise. As for me, I’m a little tired of making jokes, only to have someone take offense or judge me negatively because they disagree when it comes to the art of the chew. Most of the time, I’m mocking my perception of how I think people see me, but what happens? People take me seriously. Does it mean I’ll stop making a mockery of things? Of course not! Unless someone is trying to take away one of your personal rights, it’s time to let the ignorant go about their business. Let them go to bed hungry or bloated.
Now for the first Eat a Duck poll. We want to hear from you people!