Pie or Cake? What’s your take? Saying you like them equally is not an option. If you say that to my face, I don’t think I can trust you around my child anymore you sick freak. Seriously though, show some fortitude and make a decision for once in your pathetic life.
My position swayed dramatically this morning because of a snippet from an interview with comedian/podcaster Adam Corolla. When asked about his stance on pie and cake, he answered with this brilliant rant, “I submit this simple challenge to all you idiots, you’re not allowed to say you’re going to the bakery and spend $86 on a super high-end cake. That’s not the challenge. There are great cakes out there don’t get me wrong. The challenge is, I will give you $8. You go find me a cake, then I’ll go down to Marie Calender’s and for $7.99 buy any pie they have in the display case, and it will whip your $8 cake. There’s no such thing as a bad pumpkin pie. (I have to disagree here. All pumpkin pies suck) There’s great pumpkin pie and O.K. pumpkin pie, but there isn’t BAD pumpkin pie. It doesn’t matter what pie place you go to or what town you live in. Even the store-bought is going to be edible. But cake…you can get some really…really, really bad cake.”
After much meditation on the matter, I agree about 90% with Mr. Corolla. If you were to pit the best piece of cake against the best piece of pie, cake wins best against best. However, the law of averages states that I will consume many more bad pieces of cake than bad pieces of pie, because there is no such thing as a bad piece of pie. So pie wins.
This new found awakening comes in the heat of pie season. Pies rule the roost in summer, and I want to show you how easy they are to make, from start to finish to make a crust directly in the pie pan, a versatile fruit (I’m using blueberries this time) filling and a buttery scrumptious crumbly topping. Let’s do this!
Dutchish Blueberry Pie Thing
First set your oven to 375°
For the crust:
1 10′ Pie pan
1 1/2 cups Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cup organic oil (I’ve used Vegetable, Canola and Sunflower. They all turn out great)
3 to 4 tablespoons water
To make clean up really easy you can mix all the dry ingredients and then whisk straight in the pie pan. Next, Whisk the Oil and water together in a separate container. Make a well in your dry ingredients for the liquid to go into then pour said wet ingredients in pan. You can use a fork to mix everything together or just use your fingers, cause you’ll need those shortly anyway. Once the dough starts to make a crumbly biscuit-like texture, form it into a ball and place in the center of the pan. Start squashing the dough down with your fingers all the way til it goes up the sides of the pan and the entire surface is evenly covered. Don’t make little frumpy creases or flutes into the pie dough side walls. Who are you trying to fool? You’re not Ina Garten. You are a human being. Set crust aside. You do not need to pre-bake.
Fruit filling: (Every fruit works… I think.)
4 cups of fresh Blueberries. (If you can’t find fresh, move on to another fruit that is actually available. Such as 7 apples or 8 peaches.)
1 Tbs. fresh lemon juice, strained
3⁄4 cup sugar
3 Tbs. cornstarch
1⁄2 tsp. finely grated lemon zest
1⁄4 tsp. salt
1⁄4 tsp. ground cinnamon (If you use apple, double up on the cinnamon)
Place Fruit in a medium-sized bowl and toss with lemon juice. Stir sugar, corn starch, zest, salt and cinnamon in a small bowl until evenly mixed. Sprinkle sugar mixture over fruit and toss with hands until all the fruit is coated. Set aside.
Crumbly Streusel Topper:
1 Stick Unsalted Butter (Room Temp)
1/2 C All Purpose Flour
1/4 C Cane Sugar
½ Tsp Salt
Place Flour, sugar, and salt in a small mixing bowl and stir until blended well. Take the butter in your hand and separate with your fingers in small clumps into the Flour mix. Then with your fingers toss the butter and flour lightly to form little crumbly buttery balls of streusel. Don’t be rough or else you will end up with cookie dough. Now it’s time to assemble Team P.I.E.
Take Fruit mixture and dump into pie pan. Take Crumbly streusel mixture and sprinkle it over the fruit evenly and graciously. Put in oven. Watch 2 episodes of Storage Wars or about 1 hour until the Dutch part of the pie begins to show signs of browning. Take hot pie out and place on cooling rack. Do not set out on an open window sill. That is lame. Let cool for 30 minutes until pie is still warm but not hot enough to cause oral fissures.
This pie is slowly becoming the death of me. It’s so amazing that I’ve been ordered to make it 4 times in the last 2 weeks. I have a standing order for a blackberry/raspberry hybrid in the next few weeks. Hopefully you too will be struck by the curse of my Dutchish Blueberry Pie Thing.